Love is Life

"She did not want to leave it yet" (270). The juxtaposition. The change in feeling. The change of heart. Olive Kitteridge wanted to live. Only a few weeks before, Olive explained, "I don't care if i die...I'd like it" (254). Thinking about it, I do care if I die, I am just not afraid of death. Vast difference. Death does not loom over me like a haunting shadow. I know that it will come, and that it remains inevitable. I can not escape it. My heart will "someday stop, as all hearts do" (269). But, unlike Olive, I do care. I want to fight for my life, try to live as long as possible. Live everyday to the fullest. I believe Olive's change of heart came with the sensation of passion and love. Laying in the sunny room with Jack Kennison, feeling nothing but love and wanting. It lit her spark again. She wanted to live. Author, Elizabeth Stout, claims that every human being needs to be needed. No matter how old or how young, love remains what keeps people alive. I have seen it with my very own eyes. My grandfather had found a soul mate. Although lung cancer took my grandmother away from him at the ripe age of 62, he had found another love.  Zella Davidson. They were madly in love with each other, spending all day together. They decided it would be best not to marry, for they both knew how old each of them were becoming. After a happy two years together, Zella was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. A month later, she passed away. My grandpa was ripped apart. We all knew he was not going to live much longer after Zella died. He did not have anything to look forward to when he woke up in the morning. All of the compassion and love in his life vanished. A short four months later, he was gone. Living proof. Love is life.

The Walking Dead

Let's play a game. Would you rather. The fun game where decision making meets humor. Would you rather have all the phobias known to man-kind, or have to slowly skin your family and pets alive? That's a good one. Ready for another? Would you rather die, or live as a vegetable? Well, in the case of Henry Kitterage, vegetable it is. Having suffered from a stroke, Henry, the once outgoing, friendly, popular man, now can not talk or see. Hearing remains the question. Can Henry hear his wife's whispers into his ear, telling him about his son and daughter-in-law? His wife, Olive, will never know. No sign of recognition or idenification in his movements. Just a confused, smiling stare. Olive tries to communicate with her husband. "'Squeeze my hand if you understand,"' she would whisper, hoping a small movement would occur in her husband's hand (147). But "his hand did not squeeze her's" (147). In the case of my Grandfather, vegetation was not an option. The moment he was rushed to the hospital and put on the ventilator, the cord was cut. As soon as we walked into the hospital, we told them to let him go. He always would ask me, who would want to live like that? It's not living. I believe that Olive's decision to let Henry live in a state where no one was sure if he was there or not is wrong. Nobody deserves to live like that. You're just the walking dead.

A Juxtaposing Mixture

When first diving into the chapter, Starving in Elizabeth Strout's book, Olive Kitteridge, I met Harmon. And I admit, I judged Harmon too quickly. At first I saw him as a uncanny, elderly man, lurking around and staring at young, juvenile girls. But he grew on me. I gained access into his everyday life. Living a life with a woman who he do not love anymore. Secretly seeing Daisy Foster. Most would view this complicated love fiasco as immoral. I, on the other hand, feel a juxtaposing mixture of pride and dissapointment. Pride in the fact that Harmon found an escape from his nagging wife, Bonnie. Finding a distraction from his pathetic life. He "felt blue" around the happiest time of the year, spending it with his non-existent grandchildren and his badgering wife (100). Pride that Harmon admitted to "have fallen in love with [Daisy]), fully confessing his compassion for his secret mistress (102). Pride that Harmon realized that everyone searches and desires the intimate feelings of love and benevolence. Pride in the fact that Harmon found "ferocious and full blown love" in Daisy (103). Dissapointment in his cowardly deceptions to his wife. Strout, making the assertion that all humans want to be wanted, forced me to feel more happiness in Harmon's deceitful ways than dissapointment. But, however, Bonnie deserves the right to the harsh truth. Her realtionship with Harmon remains distant and not what it used to be. She deserves to know that he has moved on. She deserves the opportunity to move on and find her spark again. She deserves love too.

All Wrong

It was one of those moments when you're wondering, what is happening? Why is that happening? And how can I make it stop? All at once, the island of San Lorenzo turned into mass chaos. One thing after another. "Papa" Monzano died. A plane crashed into the castle. The castle turned to ruins. Ice-nine killed almost every person on the island. All because of Felix. It all came back to him. The clash of science, religion, and destiny. And "no life" could be seen (269). There "were thousands upon thousands of dead" (272). But why? How could this happen to all the citizens of San Lorenzo? Why are the only surviors the visitors to the island? Oh, the irony. They had given nothing to benefit the desperate island, and they were the only ones alive. I just kept asking myself, why? The end of Kurt Vonnegut's novel left me angry and troubled. The wrong people had lost their lives. And the wrong ones lived.

You Can

I am a firm believer that if you work hard enough, you can live anywhere in the world. Anywhere your heart desires. Save your money, look for jobs, and make things work. It is your life and you have full control of what you do with it. Yes, I understand that people are poor and get stuck in ruts, feeling so overwhelmed that they can't seem to get out of the downward spiral of poverty. Yes, I might be a little biased since I have never faced any adversity in my life, living in the wealthy bubble of Chagrin Falls. But why would anyone choose to live in a place like San Lorenzo? Described in Kurt Vonnegut's novel, Cat's Cradle, San Lorenzo was founded by Johnson and McCabe, two hopeful men looking to build a prosperous nation. They found the nation in a miserable state. San Lorzenzo was built of "twigs, tin, crates, and mud" and was a "sour mash of slop" (133). Looking to turn the island in the other direction, Johnson and McCabe failed horrendously. And so did the new leader, "Papa" Monzano. Therefore, "everybody was bound to fail" in the helpless country (133). With the depressed diciton of "helpless," Vonnegut creates a dispairing tone, indirectly characterizing the citizens of San Lorzenzo as hopeless, inflicting pathos on them. And to my surprise and dismay, I learned that there lived four hundred and fifty inhabitants for every square mile. With such a depressed and forlorn economy, I couldn't help but question myself why so many individuals took to living there? The only wealthy people of San Lorzenzo were the people in charge of the government, letting their citizens struggle. I just wanted them all to leave. Find a better place, before it is too late.

Love at first sight?

I've always been unsure on how I feel about love at first sight. Granted, I have never been in love, so how could I judge such a thing? Well, I did. The protagonist Jonah, in Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle, conveys his love for "the girl on the cover" of the New York Sunday Times (80). Jonah claims that he "had fallen in love with [Mona] on sight" (80). Without knowing anything about this mysterious Mona Aamons Monzano, Jonah uses this enigmatic woman as the force behind his meaningless life (85). He dreames of being with Mona for the rest of his life, and uses Mona as the purpose behind him living. I would like to believe that this can possibly happen in life, finding a beautiful girl to devote your life and love, but I can't. Actually, I find it somewhat immoral. Basing love off of looks seems iniquitous to me, for I believe that many more aspects go into true love. I feel that once Jonah had the pleasure of being with Mona, he realized that too. Although he did love her for her beauty and grace, he found that she "loves everyone" because it makes people happy (207). He only wanted Mona to love him and only him. With this conflict, Jonah became controlling and jealous, ordering Mona to stop loving others. With this I question, would he have fallen in love with her if he knew of her loving personality? Who knows.

Indecisive

After finishing the book, "The Submission" by Amy Waldman, I felt very indifferent. Good and bad. Right and wrong. These juxtaposing feelings left me at the end of the novel. After Mohammad Khan's grueling fight for justice and equality, he gave in. Khan had given up his life to show the nation that he should build the memorial for the September 11th attacks. Residing in hotels, disconnecting his phone, and barely showing up for work, all for the contest. But in the end, was it all worth it? He dropped out of the contest, gave up his fight. To prove what? A innocent Muslim American women died for the fight. Mohammad could not walk down the street without starting an argument with a pedestrian against his design. And he gave up. But, twenty years later, Khan lives as a successful business man. Owning his own firm, designing buildings for major individuals. Good and bad. Right and wrong. He should have won. He should have fought. But at what cost? These numerous questions raced in my head afer finishing the novel. I'm indecisive.